Wolfhowler

Inside of me

At the moment of crisis we discover what we are made of in more ways than we can imagine...

These last two weeks, I have experienced several ups and downs. It has been an interesting roller coaster ride.

I spent the first days sharing my life with 300 young adults from 16 nations. It was a very exhilarating time. I shared lessons from my experience of failures and grace. I was able to spent actual time walking, in subways and eating with a few who drew close to me and experienced issues in real time.

I was able to see that truly God can use people like me who walk with a limp and are willing to live in transparency.

The last night night we worshiped God with a dance to trance music, no one wanted it to end except for the folks who had to clean the place.

The youth conference was followed by a more serious meeting with pastors. While no longer particularly fond of these type of events anymore, I went there to again share from my life.

I explained how after many years of involvement in promoting and implementing nation-wide church planting projects, I have come to realize that the time has come to shift from the method “church planting” to the objective “the Kingdom of God”.

I have yet to figure out the full implications of all of this but I learned many new things in this regard.

After of this was over, I went into a time of deep consideration of my personal issues and future, this is complicated and convoluted. I have made some things way more complicated but such is life. 

While this, I was preparing for a colonoscopy, which I could do a lot cheaper in Hong Kong than the US. They removed a polyp which thankfully was not cancerous.

I then came to Jakarta to deal with other intense challenges our team faces and a three day conversation with like-minded friends. It was overpowering and challenging to see the fire in the hearts of people who are ready to give it all for the cause.

I now sit alone by a cafe. I’ve had to write a difficult email, I had the chance to chat with my daughter on Facebook and I’m asking God what next...

I actually face the fact that I have no more money to continue the work here. I have no more money to even pay my own bills. 

I need to know how to carry on. I’m finding out more about my personal capacity to trust God and it is hard to see how little I really have. 

At least I have the assurance that He knows!

Together with the next leaders

For the last couple of days I have hung out with about 300 guys from many countries in Asia.

I have met people who are in situations far beyond my experience but in spite of it all they press on to share the the good news they have.

Today is the last day of the Youth Conference. It has been a productive event.  I'm here with 300 young people from 30 nations, coming mostly from Asia. 

I have shared my experiences in Indonesia and relating to global culture.

Last night we ended with a celebration dance. It was a first for most of these guys. It was great to see them come alive after sitting for so long!

We have no break in between. Tomorrow is the start of the Global consultation. I was here 10 years ago when this movement started and this year the leadership has agreed to reinvent itself into a new form. I'm looking forward to a new beginning.

I have really enjoyed being able to relate and share with the younger generation my passion for loving ourselves and our neighbors as the way to love our God.